Thoughts before Baptism
I've always believed in God or, at the very least, the idea of God... I wrestled with the back and forth of faith in Christ for years of my life... years that I could easily look back on as being wasted. In a way they were. That ever-present, overwhelming love of God I'd heard others talk about was something that I (unaware at the time) was chasing. My soul was searching to be filled and I chose to fill it with almost everything but God. About a year ago, the pull started... flitting around my head just letting me swat it away and ignore the buzzing of it in my ear... and I avoided it in much the same ways I had in the past... until I didn't. Until I listened. When I walked into church on August 18th, I wouldn't leave the same person. I can't explain it in any way other than the Holy Spirit filled my life again that day and there was no turning back. All I could keep saying was "ok, so we're doing this"... WE'RE doing this. Thinking back on it, that is an insanely powerful thought. I don't remember thinking about saying that, it just came out and it's been almost a mantra for me ever since. I heard. I listened. And from that point forward, it would always be "we" for me because He would be there beside me every step of the way. I wrote this (along with this passage in the photo that really spoke out to me) on Sunday before my Baptism and i just wanted to share:
"There wasn't one defining moment that I remember hearing it... but it wasn't a shouting... it wasn't a booming voice like thunder... it was a whisper so quiet that it could've been ignored... it could've been mistaken for a soft breeze or an exhale of breath.... and for a long time, it seemed to only be that. Once heard though, for me, there was no option to NOT hear it. There was no choice to NOT listen. So, whether to the right or to the left, where You say to go, I'll go."